Quote

I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Listeners
Million
Millions
Went

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
In the beginning, I was put off by the harshness of German. Someone would order a piece of cake, and it sounded as if it were an actual order, like, Cut the cake and lie facedown in that ditch between the cobbler and the little girl.
David Sedaris
Image
I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.
David Sedaris
Image
I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
David Sedaris
Image
The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
David Sedaris
Image
Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.
David Sedaris
Image
I've often lost faith in myself, I've never lost it in my family.
David Sedaris
Image
All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
David Sedaris
Image
A history of listening to Top 40 radio had left me with a ridiculous and clichéd notion of love. I had never entertained the feeling myself but knew that it meant never having to say you're sorry. It was a many-splendored thing. Love was a rose and a hammer. Both blind and all-seeing, it made the world go round.
David Sedaris
Image
At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
David Sedaris
Image
Sometimes you read something and it's just -- it doesn't invite a reader....Sometimes you read something and it's not saying, 'oh come in, come in have a seat. I'm going to tell you what happened.' Perhaps my writing comes off as conversational...and that takes effort.
David Sedaris
Image
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
Image
Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.
David Sedaris
Image
High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.
David Sedaris
Image
The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
David Sedaris
Image
Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
David Sedaris
Image
Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
David Sedaris
Image
People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
David Sedaris
Image
but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
David Sedaris
Image
You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.
David Sedaris
Image
The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live.
David Sedaris