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I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Half
Book
Signing
People
Ten
Record
Meet
Sitting
Records
Hours

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God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He rewarding me? Did He actively watch me or take me for granted like a fish you don't notice until it's floating on the surface of the tank?
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You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.
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I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.
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What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks? Trains don't normally sneak up on people. Unless they've derailed, you pretty much know where to find them.
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
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It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.
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Most movies, I forget about them while I'm watching them. I go every single day. But I've never thought about participating in any way. It's like being at home all day. It was never a goal to me.
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Now I don't drink, and I get up in the morning and I write in my diary, and I can write in my diary for hours if I feel like it. And I'm still sober so I can write the stories that I'm working on, and I can sit at the desk as long as I need to. So that changed a lot, I think.
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Sometimes you read something and it's just -- it doesn't invite a reader....Sometimes you read something and it's not saying, 'oh come in, come in have a seat. I'm going to tell you what happened.' Perhaps my writing comes off as conversational...and that takes effort.
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There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.
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Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
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He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.
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Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love.
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If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
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All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
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I don't like travelling if I know I have to write about it.
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