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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Used
Might
Really
Think
Shirts
Thinking
Iron
Like
Someone
Truth
Also

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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
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The good thing about being gay, though, I always believed, is that you didn't make anyone go to a wedding. Nobody wants to go to a wedding. Nobody. It kind of bothers me now that you have to go to gay weddings, too. I don't care. It's still a wedding. And I would give anybody double gifts if they would elope.
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Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
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The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make your dress, and do the flowers and the catering. They've toiled in the wedding industry all these years but were never allowed to do it themselves.
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I don't like to read anything on the radio for the very first time, because I don't have any notion of a reaction. When I read it out loud, then I get an idea of that, and more of an idea of how to read.
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Besides, if I wanted to hear people speaking wall-to-wall French, all I had to do was remove my headphones and participate in what is known as ‘real life,’ a concept as uninviting as a shampoo cocktail.
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Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
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Perhaps the little Negro girl was holding a concealed razor blade. Maybe she was one of the troublemakers out for a fresh white scalp.
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A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.
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I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.
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Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
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I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.
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If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
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I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
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I see you that have a little swimming mouse
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My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
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