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I sometimes read books on my iPad.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Read
Book
Sometimes
Ipad
Ipads
Books

More quotes by David Sedaris

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Weird doors open. People fall into things.
David Sedaris
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But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
David Sedaris
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I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.
David Sedaris
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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
David Sedaris
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Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.
David Sedaris
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I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
David Sedaris
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I see you that have a little swimming mouse
David Sedaris
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I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
David Sedaris
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If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
David Sedaris
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there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.
David Sedaris
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I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
David Sedaris
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A history of listening to Top 40 radio had left me with a ridiculous and clichéd notion of love. I had never entertained the feeling myself but knew that it meant never having to say you're sorry. It was a many-splendored thing. Love was a rose and a hammer. Both blind and all-seeing, it made the world go round.
David Sedaris
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Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have to hold on to. If you're really desperate, you might need to grope, saying, for example, I've never killed anyone with a hammer or I've never stolen from anyone who didn't deserve it.
David Sedaris
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When I taught, a lot of my students weren't big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought it belonged in a book. Like, they didn't know what the inside of a book looked like, you know what I mean?
David Sedaris
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
David Sedaris
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I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
David Sedaris
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The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
David Sedaris
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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
David Sedaris
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The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing someone else stopped me completely.
David Sedaris
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
David Sedaris