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Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Grammar
Mouth
Mouths
Rules
Right
Feel
Sometimes
Feels
Yorker

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Perhaps the little Negro girl was holding a concealed razor blade. Maybe she was one of the troublemakers out for a fresh white scalp.
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
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Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.
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I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.
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People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
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Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
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I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
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I sometimes read books on my iPad.
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I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call understanding is basically just fantasizing.
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but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
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It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments. A bow tie announces to the world you can no longer get an erection.
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... [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naïve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross.
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I've maintained old friendships, like with people I knew in the nineteen-seventies, but have lost the knack for meeting new people. This has a lot to do with my writing schedule. I don't want to be disturbed, and the willingness to be disturbed is, I think, part of being a good friend.
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
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If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.
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At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
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