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Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Mouth
Mouths
Rules
Right
Feel
Sometimes
Feels
Yorker
Grammar
More quotes by David Sedaris
whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.
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You really burden the reader if you put things in but, Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway. Then the reader's going to think, like, Mmm... no thanks. So the thing is to cut all that stuff out before its published.
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I would be writing and trying to write like Joan Didion. Or if I was reading Raymond Carver. You know, strong stylists. But that's how you find your voice, is imitating other people. So things like that didn't embarrass me, because I thought, well, that's how it goes. That's how everyone learns.
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Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
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Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
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Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.
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Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.
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The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention
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People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
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All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
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Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
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If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.
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After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
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I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
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Sometimes you read something and it's just -- it doesn't invite a reader....Sometimes you read something and it's not saying, 'oh come in, come in have a seat. I'm going to tell you what happened.' Perhaps my writing comes off as conversational...and that takes effort.
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I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.
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Weird doors open. People fall into things.
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In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use that right.
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