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We can actually reconstruct our past by examining what we think, say, feel, expect, believe, and do in an intimate relationship now.

David Richo

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David Richo
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More quotes by David Richo

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To be adult in relationship is not to be conflict-free, it's to resolve conflicts mindfully.
David Richo
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Relationships are not about how two people can survive each other but about how the whole world becomes more capable of love, with all its dim anguish and glowing rapture.
David Richo
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The opposite of interpersonal trust is not mistrust. It is despair. This is because we have given up on believing that trustworthiness and fulfillment are possible from others. We have lost our hope in our fellow humans.
David Richo
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Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep using defenses, we actually maintain the original force of the fear.
David Richo
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Once we understand that what happens beyond our control may be just what we need, we see that acceptance of reality can be our way of participating in our own evolution.
David Richo
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Fate often allows a future to take shape with no regard for our expectation, plan, or readiness. Fate's skillful editing of our life choices is like the careful grooming of lads on their first day of school: combed, polished, scrubbed, newly dressed, and glowing too. This is how we become ready for our life lessons.
David Richo
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In mindful grief, we become the landing strip that allows any feelings to arrive. Some crash, some land softly. Some harm us, but none harm us in a lasting way. We remain as they taxi away or as their wreckage is cleared away. We can trust that we will survive.
David Richo
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The foundation of adult trust is not “You will never hurt me.” It is “I trust myself with whatever you do.
David Richo
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When we notice a connection between our present fears and their origins in early life, we are finding out how much of our identity is designed by fear. Is fear the architect of me?
David Richo
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A healthy person is not perfect but perfectible, not a done deal but a work in progress. Staying healthy takes discipline, work, and patience, which is why our life is a journey and perforce a heroic one.
David Richo
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The most exciting part of finding out who we are is discovering our own uniqueness, who we are outside the box, beyond the categories in a Psychology 101 textbook. In our inimitable singularity, there is an infinite range of possibility that cannot be tied to any one description of what it means to be human or healthy.
David Richo
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Mindfulness is both a state of being and a daily spiritual practice, a form of meditation.
David Richo
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I see that mankind still survives after all its attempts to destroy itself and so I surmise that it is the law of love that rules mankind.
David Richo
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Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.
David Richo
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There is a natural and inviolable tendency in things to bloom into whatever they truly are in the core of their being. All we have to do is align ourselves with what wants to happen naturally and put in the effort that is our part in helping it happen.
David Richo
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In the hero stories, the call to go on a journey takes the form of a loss, an error, a wound, an unexplainable longing, or a sense of a mission. When any of these happens to us, we are being summoned to make a transition. It will always mean leaving something behind,...The paradox here is that loss is a path to gain.
David Richo
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Our tears are precious, necessary, and part of what make us such endearing creatures.
David Richo
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Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it.
David Richo
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True optimism is not the prospect of control over pain or elimination of it but survival through it.
David Richo
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The challenge is to find our destiny in exactly what we are refusing to engage in.
David Richo