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Our tears are precious, necessary, and part of what make us such endearing creatures.

David Richo

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David Richo
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To be adult in relationship is not to be conflict-free, it's to resolve conflicts mindfully.
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Mindful grief means mourning and letting go of the past without expectation, fear, censure, blame, shame, control and so forth. Without such mindful grief, neither past nor person can be laid to rest.
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There is a natural and inviolable tendency in things to bloom into whatever they truly are in the core of their being. All we have to do is align ourselves with what wants to happen naturally and put in the effort that is our part in helping it happen.
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Bread takes the effort of kneading but also requires sitting quietly while the dough rises with a power all its own.
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The challenge is to find our destiny in exactly what we are refusing to engage in.
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The foundation of adult trust is not “You will never hurt me.” It is “I trust myself with whatever you do.
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Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep using defenses, we actually maintain the original force of the fear.
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Once we understand that what happens beyond our control may be just what we need, we see that acceptance of reality can be our way of participating in our own evolution.
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Relationships are not about how two people can survive each other but about how the whole world becomes more capable of love, with all its dim anguish and glowing rapture.
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We do not create our destiny we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.
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In the hero stories, the call to go on a journey takes the form of a loss, an error, a wound, an unexplainable longing, or a sense of a mission. When any of these happens to us, we are being summoned to make a transition. It will always mean leaving something behind,...The paradox here is that loss is a path to gain.
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True optimism is not the prospect of control over pain or elimination of it but survival through it.
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Mindfulness is both a state of being and a daily spiritual practice, a form of meditation.
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We can actually reconstruct our past by examining what we think, say, feel, expect, believe, and do in an intimate relationship now.
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A healthy person is not perfect but perfectible, not a done deal but a work in progress. Staying healthy takes discipline, work, and patience, which is why our life is a journey and perforce a heroic one.
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Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.
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When we notice a connection between our present fears and their origins in early life, we are finding out how much of our identity is designed by fear. Is fear the architect of me?
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The most exciting part of finding out who we are is discovering our own uniqueness, who we are outside the box, beyond the categories in a Psychology 101 textbook. In our inimitable singularity, there is an infinite range of possibility that cannot be tied to any one description of what it means to be human or healthy.
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We were born with four words engraved on our bodies and in our hearts: Love me, hold me.
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In mindful grief, we become the landing strip that allows any feelings to arrive. Some crash, some land softly. Some harm us, but none harm us in a lasting way. We remain as they taxi away or as their wreckage is cleared away. We can trust that we will survive.
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