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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.

David Rees

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David Rees
Reading
Sharpening
War
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Pencils
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More quotes by David Rees

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I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.
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I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way.
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I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.
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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.
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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.
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To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
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I had good relationships with stores. And I was like, All right, I'll self-publish it. But I'm only going to do 1,000.
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I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.
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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
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I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.
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I feel like really thinking about art and really appreciating it and learning the language of it just makes you more of a connoisseur. I believe that.
David Rees
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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
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The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
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The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience.
David Rees