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I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way.

David Rees

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David Rees
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More quotes by David Rees

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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
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Talking about my personal life onstage, I've realized I'm not one of those comics who can do that. I can allude to it but I don't want to be a confessional performer.
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
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The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience.
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I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.
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Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.
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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
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To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.
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I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
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I had good relationships with stores. And I was like, All right, I'll self-publish it. But I'm only going to do 1,000.
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I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
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I was just worried that someone was gonna think that I had been commissioned by Jamba Juice to make cartoons about Jamba Juice. And the big thing for me was - if I'm not getting paid to sell out, I don't want people to think that I'm selling out.
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The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
David Rees