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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.

David Rees

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David Rees
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More quotes by David Rees

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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
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I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.
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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
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I don't think I would've ever dared dreaming of becoming a professional cartoonist. I wouldn't set myself up for that disappointment.
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Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.
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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
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I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
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I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
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I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.
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I just wanted a really simple, dramatic way so that fans, people who were reading my comic, would be like, This is something different. Just to flag it, almost.
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
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I feel like really thinking about art and really appreciating it and learning the language of it just makes you more of a connoisseur. I believe that.
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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.
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I had good relationships with stores. And I was like, All right, I'll self-publish it. But I'm only going to do 1,000.
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I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.
David Rees