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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.

David Rees

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David Rees
Figured
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Talking about my personal life onstage, I've realized I'm not one of those comics who can do that. I can allude to it but I don't want to be a confessional performer.
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I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.
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To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.
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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
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I don't think I would've ever dared dreaming of becoming a professional cartoonist. I wouldn't set myself up for that disappointment.
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I was just worried that someone was gonna think that I had been commissioned by Jamba Juice to make cartoons about Jamba Juice. And the big thing for me was - if I'm not getting paid to sell out, I don't want people to think that I'm selling out.
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I feel like really thinking about art and really appreciating it and learning the language of it just makes you more of a connoisseur. I believe that.
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
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I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.
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I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.
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I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
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The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
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I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.
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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
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