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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.

David Rees

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David Rees
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.
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I was just worried that someone was gonna think that I had been commissioned by Jamba Juice to make cartoons about Jamba Juice. And the big thing for me was - if I'm not getting paid to sell out, I don't want people to think that I'm selling out.
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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
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The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience.
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