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I just wanted a really simple, dramatic way so that fans, people who were reading my comic, would be like, This is something different. Just to flag it, almost.

David Rees

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David Rees
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More quotes by David Rees

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The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.
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I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.
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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
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To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
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I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way.
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The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience.
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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.
David Rees
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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
David Rees
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I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.
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I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.
David Rees
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
David Rees
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I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
David Rees
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
David Rees
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Talking about my personal life onstage, I've realized I'm not one of those comics who can do that. I can allude to it but I don't want to be a confessional performer.
David Rees
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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
David Rees
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
David Rees