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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.

David Rees

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More quotes by David Rees

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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
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I feel like really thinking about art and really appreciating it and learning the language of it just makes you more of a connoisseur. I believe that.
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The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience.
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
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I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
David Rees
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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.
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To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.
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I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
David Rees
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Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
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I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way.
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I had good relationships with stores. And I was like, All right, I'll self-publish it. But I'm only going to do 1,000.
David Rees
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I just wanted a really simple, dramatic way so that fans, people who were reading my comic, would be like, This is something different. Just to flag it, almost.
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I don't think I would've ever dared dreaming of becoming a professional cartoonist. I wouldn't set myself up for that disappointment.
David Rees
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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.
David Rees
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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
David Rees