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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

David Rees

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David Rees
Little
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More quotes by David Rees

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I feel like really thinking about art and really appreciating it and learning the language of it just makes you more of a connoisseur. I believe that.
David Rees
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I had good relationships with stores. And I was like, All right, I'll self-publish it. But I'm only going to do 1,000.
David Rees
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
David Rees
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Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.
David Rees
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
David Rees
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The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.
David Rees
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
David Rees
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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
David Rees
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
David Rees
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I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.
David Rees
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
David Rees
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I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.
David Rees
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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
David Rees
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I was just worried that someone was gonna think that I had been commissioned by Jamba Juice to make cartoons about Jamba Juice. And the big thing for me was - if I'm not getting paid to sell out, I don't want people to think that I'm selling out.
David Rees
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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.
David Rees
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I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.
David Rees
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
David Rees
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I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.
David Rees
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
David Rees
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I just wanted a really simple, dramatic way so that fans, people who were reading my comic, would be like, This is something different. Just to flag it, almost.
David Rees