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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

David Rees

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David Rees
Toothbrush
Toothbrushes
Pencil
Pencils
Teeth
Clean
Longer
Use
Sharpener

More quotes by David Rees

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The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.
David Rees
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I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.
David Rees
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I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.
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I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.
David Rees
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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
David Rees
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I don't think I would've ever dared dreaming of becoming a professional cartoonist. I wouldn't set myself up for that disappointment.
David Rees
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
David Rees
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To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.
David Rees
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
David Rees
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I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.
David Rees
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I just wanted a really simple, dramatic way so that fans, people who were reading my comic, would be like, This is something different. Just to flag it, almost.
David Rees
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
David Rees
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
David Rees
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Talking about my personal life onstage, I've realized I'm not one of those comics who can do that. I can allude to it but I don't want to be a confessional performer.
David Rees
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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.
David Rees
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Obviously, I never had to sketch anything out. To me, that was the appeal of working with clip art, working digitally. You make it and it's done.
David Rees
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The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.
David Rees
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I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way.
David Rees
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Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.
David Rees
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
David Rees