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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.

David Rees

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David Rees
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More quotes by David Rees

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I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.
David Rees
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I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.
David Rees
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I had good relationships with stores. And I was like, All right, I'll self-publish it. But I'm only going to do 1,000.
David Rees
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The things I'm grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly - in a weird way - truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I'm really grateful that I got to have that experience.
David Rees
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Talking about my personal life onstage, I've realized I'm not one of those comics who can do that. I can allude to it but I don't want to be a confessional performer.
David Rees
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The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
David Rees
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I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.
David Rees
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I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.
David Rees
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I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.
David Rees
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The time that I would spend revisiting my old Get Your War On strips is more profitably spent Googling myself and reading comments about how people hate my pencil-sharpening business.
David Rees
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I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.
David Rees
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I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.
David Rees
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I've been really surprised about a lot of the negative comments about artisanal pencil sharpening. Like, it really rubs some people the wrong way.
David Rees
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I hate self-publishing it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
David Rees
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I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
David Rees
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I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it. And I figured it out and I did it.
David Rees
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Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.
David Rees
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Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.
David Rees
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I don't think I would've ever dared dreaming of becoming a professional cartoonist. I wouldn't set myself up for that disappointment.
David Rees
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I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.
David Rees