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It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.

David Levithan

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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
Writer
Short Hills
New Jersey
Would
Ignored
Visible
Entirely
Invisible
Instead
Easy
Feel
Invisibility
Feels
Painfully

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And still, for all the jealously, all the doubt, sometimes I will be struck with a kind of awe that we're together. That someone like me could find someone like you --- it renders me wordless. Because surely words would conspire against such luck, would protest the unlikelihood of such a turn of events.
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I cannot think of a single word to describe what we feel. I think we all feel it, to varying degrees. Perhaps in some other language there is a word for 'the world is terribly wrong.' That feeling of stun and unbelief and abandonment and shock and horror and distress.
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All this hoping for something- or someone- that's maybe hopeless. I'm having a hard time processing what I am supposed to believe, or if I'm even supposed to. There is too much information, and I don't like a lot of it.
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I have learned how to observe, far better than most people observe. I am not blinded by the past or motivated by the future. I focus on the present, because that is where I am destined to live.
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I see Nick's number. I debate whether to assign a name to his number. If I commit to that, then I will truly be heartbroken if he never calls me again my heart will knot each and every time I use this phone and see his name in there. I would probably end up having to trash the phone entirely.
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Remember that at any given moment there are a thousand things you can love.
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So what else can I tell you? I asked. I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me.
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I want to take back at least half of the “I love you”s, because I didn’t mean them as much as the other ones.
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What a strange phrase — –not seeing other people. As if it’s been constructed to be a lie. We see other people all the time. The question is what we do about it.
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Breathing, n You had asthma as a child, had to carry around an inhaler. But when you grew older, it went away. You could run for miles and it was fine. Sometimes I worry that this is happening to me in reverse. The older I get, the more I lose my ability to breathe.
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I couldn't remember ordinary moments, only the ones that had made an impression. Ordinary moments were the ones that fell away first.
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I have always been aware of how I break. I know what kind of situations will break me. I know what kind of people will do it. I know how much it will hurt.
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