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Once you experience enormity, it lingers everywhere you look, and want to be every word you say.
David Levithan
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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
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Short Hills
New Jersey
Enormity
Lingers
Everywhere
Word
Experience
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Looks
Every
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That lasting things do, in fact, last.
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I want my own books to have their own shelves, you said, and that's how I knew it would be okay to live together.
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It felt good to be surrounded by books, by all this solid knowledge, by these objects that could be ripped page by page but couldn't be torn if the pages all held together.
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I had made it somewhere special, and I'd gotten there all on my own. Nobody had given it to me. Nobody had told me to do it. I'd climbed and climbed and climbed, and this was my reward. To watch over the world, and to be alone with myself. That, I found, was what I needed.
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Love is so painful, how could you ever wish it on anybody? And love is so essential, how could you ever stand in its way?
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She is so lost in her sadness that she has no idea how visible it is.
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It doesn't have to be on Valentine's Day. It doesn't have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine. It doesn't have to conform to whatever is usual. It doesn't have to be kismet at once, or rhapsody by the third date. It just has to be. In time. In place. In spirit. It just has to be.
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I get it. The things you hope for the most are the things that destroy you in the end.
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Maybe tonight you're scared of falling, and maybe there's somebody here or somewhere else you're thinking about, worrying over, fretting over, trying to figure out if you want to fall, or how and when you're gonna land, and i gotta tell you, friends, to stop thinking about the landing, because it's all about falling.
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Maybe, it's not the distance that's the problem, but how you handle it.
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So what do you have to confess now? I don't know why I'm saying any of this, except that is the truth. I'm confessing that I don't know if I'm ready for this. What is 'this'? Being open. Being hurt. Liking. Not being liked. Seeing the flicker on. Seeing the flicker off. Leaping. Falling. Crashing.
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Eventually she fell asleep, but I kept the phone against my ear, lulled by her breathing, and her breathing again in the background. And yes, it felt like home. Like everything belonged exactly where it was.
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Measure the hope of that moment, that feeling. Everything else will be measured against it.
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I am stronger than words and I am bigger than the box I'm in, and then I see her in the crowd and I fall apart.
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My face seems too square and my eyes too big, like I'm perpetually surprised, but there's nothing wrong with me that I can fix.
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