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I want to know why this is such a part of me. I want to know why this thing that happened to other people has happened so much to me. I keep looking for the lesson.

David Levithan

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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
Writer
Short Hills
New Jersey
Looking
Keep
Part
Thing
Much
People
Lesson
Lessons
Happened

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I can take everything on her face at face value, and that's valuable in a friend.
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I see Nick's number. I debate whether to assign a name to his number. If I commit to that, then I will truly be heartbroken if he never calls me again my heart will knot each and every time I use this phone and see his name in there. I would probably end up having to trash the phone entirely.
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He is much stronger than I think I am. He is mischievous, outgoing, ready to soar through the clouds, while I often feel like the cloud itself.
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All this hoping for something- or someone- that's maybe hopeless. I'm having a hard time processing what I am supposed to believe, or if I'm even supposed to. There is too much information, and I don't like a lot of it.
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If other people see you differently, you’ll end up seeing them differently, too.
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So what do you have to confess now? I don't know why I'm saying any of this, except that is the truth. I'm confessing that I don't know if I'm ready for this. What is 'this'? Being open. Being hurt. Liking. Not being liked. Seeing the flicker on. Seeing the flicker off. Leaping. Falling. Crashing.
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There's no way to release yourself from a memory. It ends when it wants to end, whether it's in a flash or long after you've begged it to stop.
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simon: that's disgusting! me: what's disgusting? simon: you know. you put your thing in the place where he, um, defecates.
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What i want is for what i want to actually matter.
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Most people, I've noticed, are instinctively harsh to strangers. They expect every approach to be an attack, every question to be an interruption.
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