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I couldn't remember ordinary moments, only the ones that had made an impression. Ordinary moments were the ones that fell away first.
David Levithan
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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
Writer
Short Hills
New Jersey
Remember
Firsts
Fell
First
Impression
Made
Ordinary
Couldn
Ones
Away
Moments
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When someone breaks up with you, their beauty-- which you took such satisfaction in-- suddenly becomes unfair.
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So what do you have to confess now? I don't know why I'm saying any of this, except that is the truth. I'm confessing that I don't know if I'm ready for this. What is 'this'? Being open. Being hurt. Liking. Not being liked. Seeing the flicker on. Seeing the flicker off. Leaping. Falling. Crashing.
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I still don’t know if this is a good quality or a bad one, to be able to be in the moment and then step out of it.
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I don’t want you to think I got through this undamaged, okay? But I’m learning to live with it. Because otherwise, the damage is all you are.
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We'd said we'd keep in touch. But touch is not something you can keep as soon as it's gone, it's gone. We should have said we'd keep in words, because they are all we can string between us--words on a telephone line, words appearing on a screen.
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There is the sudden. There is the eventual. And in between, there is the living.
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Moments into minutes. Minutes into hours. Hours into days. Days into years. Years into possibility. This will linger.
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Part of growing up is making sure your sense of reality isn't entirely grounded in your own mind.
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...and suddenly you started singing out your love for me. My name and everything, loud enough to reach the top floors of all the buildings. I should have told you to stop, but I didn’t want you to stop. I didn’t mind if your love for me woke people up. I didn’t mind if it somehow sneaked into their sleep.
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Eventually she fell asleep, but I kept the phone against my ear, lulled by her breathing, and her breathing again in the background. And yes, it felt like home. Like everything belonged exactly where it was.
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I guess I don't believe these things can ever be easy, although I also don't see why they have to be hard.
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..I've been trying to argue myself into thinking these things don't matter, A. Really,I have. But I've lost the argument. And I can't keep having it, when I know what the real answer is.
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