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It was one of those moments when you feel the future so much that it humbles the present.

David Levithan

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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
Writer
Short Hills
New Jersey
Future
Moments
Feel
Feels
Much
Humbles
Present

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His books are kept on freestanding shelves hung at different angles on a sea-green wall. They defy gravity, as good books should.
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So what do you have to confess now? I don't know why I'm saying any of this, except that is the truth. I'm confessing that I don't know if I'm ready for this. What is 'this'? Being open. Being hurt. Liking. Not being liked. Seeing the flicker on. Seeing the flicker off. Leaping. Falling. Crashing.
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I say good-bye to the part of myself that misses him so much.
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But I guess you don't see the planets when you're staring at the sun. You just get blinded.
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Part of growing up is making sure your sense of reality isn't entirely grounded in your own mind.
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But I want to feel like life matters. I had something real with you, but then the realness scared me. I decided to go for other things instead.
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Then I go in the den and turn on Law & Order, since the only thing i can really count on in life is that whenever I turn on the TV, there will be a Law & Order episode.
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They don’t have silences together they have noise. Mostly his.
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I cannot think of a single word to describe what we feel. I think we all feel it, to varying degrees. Perhaps in some other language there is a word for 'the world is terribly wrong.' That feeling of stun and unbelief and abandonment and shock and horror and distress.
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and when he catches me off guard and says 'i love you' i catch him off guard and say 'i need your help.
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willyoupleasebequiet: are you ready? bluejeanbaby: for what? willyoupleasebequiet: the future willyoupleasebequiet: because i think it just started
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Love is so painful, how could you ever wish it on anybody? And love is so essential, how could you ever stand in its way?
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I have no idea how he knows when I need him. We can go weeks without speaking, and then, when my blue moods threaten to turn black, he will show up and tell me my moods are azure indigo cerulean cobalt periwinkle and suddenly the blue will not seem so dark, more like the color of a noon-bright sky. He brings the sun.
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I had forgotten this about love: how the simple things- the turn away, the turn towards- could be so complicated, and how the complicated things- the stolen night, the right words- could be so simple.
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The world, right now, is only us.
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I would always wait to take you home.
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Moments into minutes. Minutes into hours. Hours into days. Days into years. Years into possibility. This will linger.
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It's as if when you love someone, they become your reason.
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Love is the higher law.
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But the thing about a cry for help is that someone else needs to be around to hear it.
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