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We stay this way until twilight colours the window and the hour calls me home

David Levithan

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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
Writer
Short Hills
New Jersey
Home
Colours
Way
Twilight
Colour
Calls
Hour
Window
Stay
Hours

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I want to know why this is such a part of me. I want to know why this thing that happened to other people has happened so much to me. I keep looking for the lesson.
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I have no idea how he knows when I need him. We can go weeks without speaking, and then, when my blue moods threaten to turn black, he will show up and tell me my moods are azure indigo cerulean cobalt periwinkle and suddenly the blue will not seem so dark, more like the color of a noon-bright sky. He brings the sun.
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How sad it must be for you to be nothing more than a hollow statue, to have your tomb preserved and your story forgotten.
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I still don’t know if this is a good quality or a bad one, to be able to be in the moment and then step out of it.
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Yesterday is another world. I want to go back there.
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I have always been aware of how I break. I know what kind of situations will break me. I know what kind of people will do it. I know how much it will hurt.
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There has to be a moment at the beginning when you wonder whether you’re in love with the person or in love with the feeling of love itself.
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No, really,' I said. 'I think she's great. And I honestly like her about twenty more times now than I did when we were dating. But love needs to have a future. And Sofia and I don't have a future. We've just had a good time sharing the present, that's all.
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Sometimes when you hit send, you can imagine the message going straight into the person's heart. But other times, like this time, it feels like the words are merely falling into a well.
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Honestly, I'm just trying to live day to day
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I had gotten so used to being alone, but never entirely used to it. Never used to it enough to stop wanting the alternative.
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So what do you have to confess now? I don't know why I'm saying any of this, except that is the truth. I'm confessing that I don't know if I'm ready for this. What is 'this'? Being open. Being hurt. Liking. Not being liked. Seeing the flicker on. Seeing the flicker off. Leaping. Falling. Crashing.
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Here's what breaks us: Even though we know better, we still want everything to be all right.
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I want to kiss her without counting the seconds. I want to hold her so long that I get to know her skin. I want, I want, I want.
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But I want to feel like life matters. I had something real with you, but then the realness scared me. I decided to go for other things instead.
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Which is more stubborn, the love or the two arguing people caught within it?
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He is much stronger than I think I am. He is mischievous, outgoing, ready to soar through the clouds, while I often feel like the cloud itself.
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So what else can I tell you? I asked. I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me.
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If you want to be loved, be a lovable. It's a good place to start.
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A sound waiting to be a word.
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