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I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.
David Levithan
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David Levithan
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 7
Author
Novelist
Writer
Short Hills
New Jersey
Everyone
Around
Suicidal
Torn
Suicide
Constantly
Killing
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..I've been trying to argue myself into thinking these things don't matter, A. Really,I have. But I've lost the argument. And I can't keep having it, when I know what the real answer is.
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I want to talk to you and be random with you and be ridiculous with you.
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I wake up feverish, sore, uncomfortable. Is it sickness or is it heartbreak? I can't tell. The thermometer says I'm normal, but I'm clearly not.
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I had a sense then of how if we truly understood how many of the unimportant things we do will end up outliving us, we'd never be able to go on.
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I have no more idea now of who I am than I did before. But at least I know that. And I'm starting to figure out who I want to be.
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I want to write my life. I want to be able to write my life. You are a second away from saying it. You have no idea how much I love you.
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...but the truth is that I don't feel like I can carry anyone but myself right now. The streets are empty. I am empty. Or, no--I am full of pain. It's my life that's empty.
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it's gonna hurt because it matters.
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