Quote

You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy just get ready.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Thinking
Vices
Palin
Drinking
Governor
National
Buddy
Members
Lifelong
Rifle
Ready
Governors
Shoots
President
Association
Rifles
Another
Member
Sarah
Great
Vice
Alaska

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
The reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.
David Letterman
Image
The creepy stuff was that I have had sex with women who worked for me on this show. Now, my response to that is yes I have. I have had sex with women who worked on this show. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would, especially for the women.
David Letterman
Image
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
David Letterman
Image
In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?
David Letterman
Image
You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
David Letterman
Image
People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.
David Letterman
Image
Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of cabinet positions. And today he announced that he wants the surgeon general to be TV Dr. Sanjay Gupta. That was the kid on 'American Idol,' wasn't it?
David Letterman
Image
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
David Letterman
Image
Recently a guy was having trouble with his computer. So he unplugs it, takes it out in the alley, pulls out a gun, and shoots it eight times. Coincidentally, that's how Hillary got rid of her emails.
David Letterman
Image
Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
David Letterman
Image
Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.
David Letterman
Image
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
David Letterman
Image
Last month Mitt Romney raised $76 million. He found it in an old sport-coat pocket.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney has a fund-raiser. He's going to get in the ring and fight Evander Holyfield. This is the dumbest thing Republicans have done since they wrote that open letter to Iran.
David Letterman
Image
The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'
David Letterman
Image
Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'
David Letterman
Image
We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves.
David Letterman
Image
Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.
David Letterman