Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy just get ready.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Members
Lifelong
Rifle
Ready
Governors
Shoots
President
Association
Rifles
Another
Member
Sarah
Great
Vice
Alaska
Thinking
Vices
Palin
Drinking
Governor
National
Buddy
More quotes by David Letterman
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
David Letterman
Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.
David Letterman
John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.
David Letterman
Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
David Letterman
President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.
David Letterman
One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.
David Letterman
New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.
David Letterman
The 4th of July combines the two things Americans love most in one day: alcohol and explosives.
David Letterman
One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.
David Letterman
The Mars Polar Lander has been quieter than George W. Bush after a foreign policy question.
David Letterman
Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.
David Letterman
This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.
David Letterman
There are so many flavors of Coke now - Coke with lemon, Coke with vanilla, Coke with lime, Cherry Coke, and they've just brought out another new flavor - Coke with Pepsi.
David Letterman
Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.
David Letterman
Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.
David Letterman
I'd do a podcast about guys wearing shorts when it's too cold.
David Letterman
Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.
David Letterman
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.
David Letterman
You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.
David Letterman
But down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, 'Mission accomplished!'
David Letterman