Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
House
Blowing
Today
Soup
Earlier
John
Obama
Busy
White
Moving
More quotes by David Letterman
Paul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, that he is not going to run for president in 2016. I'm telling you, this announcement sent shock waves through no one.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney and his family have a big two-day weekend plan. They're going to hike to the top of his money.
David Letterman
I heard doctors revived a man who had been dead for 4-1/2 minutes. When they asked him what it was like being dead, he said it was like listening to Yankees announcer Phil Rizzuto during a rain delay.
David Letterman
Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
David Letterman
He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial.
David Letterman
This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
David Letterman
Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.
David Letterman
Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
David Letterman
The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?
David Letterman
I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?
David Letterman
Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?
David Letterman
The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
David Letterman
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.
David Letterman
President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.
David Letterman
God forbid I should be the last one to criticize, but I think may be Howard Dean has a bit of a problem because earlier today during a debate in New Hampshire, he bit off Joe Lieberman's ear.
David Letterman
I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
David Letterman
When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
David Letterman
Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.
David Letterman
Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound.
David Letterman