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You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Evil
Enjoy
Use
Science
Good
Always
Never
Like
Promise

More quotes by David Letterman

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The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
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Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.
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United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.
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We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
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Howard Dean was endorsed by former Vice President Al Gore and now he is getting advice from Al Gore. And I'm thinking, who better to give advice than the guy who couldn't even get elected with the most votes?
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Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?
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Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.
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Finally we got some good news about the economy. Barack Obama got $800 billion to rescue the economy. All I can say is, 'Thank you, Oprah.'
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Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.
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I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.
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President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.
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North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.
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The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
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This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.
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John Walker, while he was in Afghanistan, told people his goal was to have four wives. ... Do we need any further proof that this guy is out of his mind? Four wives? That's how al Qaeda gets you to become a suicide bomber.
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Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.
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They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.
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Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.
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Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.
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You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
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