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I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Would
Primary
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Ass
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Basically
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Point
Life
Reason
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First
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Thing
Primaries
More quotes by David Letterman
Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.
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I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
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Mitt Romney was a guest on 'The Tonight Show' on NBC. It's interesting — you have an empty suit trying to please everyone, and then Romney comes out.
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During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!
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Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.
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Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
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Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are.
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How about that oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico. And you know, the oil slick is going everywhere. So the next time somebody lands on the Hudson, it won't be that big a deal.
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New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.
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Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!
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USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
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Mayor de Blasio has legalized ferrets. Now you can legally own ferrets in New York City. I want to tell you something. If I want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, I'll just keep riding the subway.
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