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I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Jokes
Recycled
Environmentalist

More quotes by David Letterman

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Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.
David Letterman
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Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
David Letterman
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And how about that Barack Obama? You know what they're saying? For the first time he's starting to slip in the polls. Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. Don't worry. He's got a plan. He's going to be to campaigning in Europe.
David Letterman
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The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
David Letterman
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President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.
David Letterman
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The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
David Letterman
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George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.
David Letterman
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Mitt Romney is doing what he can. He's trying very hard. He wants to unite America, the rich with the wealthy, the poor with the indigent, and the white with the Caucasian.
David Letterman
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The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?
David Letterman
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In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal.
David Letterman
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The world's oldest woman passed away at 116. They keep dying. I think that title may be cursed.
David Letterman
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Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
David Letterman
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It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
David Letterman
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They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.
David Letterman
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I spend most of my free time under the house.
David Letterman
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Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield's other ear.
David Letterman
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A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
David Letterman
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At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
David Letterman
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It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.
David Letterman
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John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.
David Letterman