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Life experience is the best teacher.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Life
Teacher
Experience
Best
More quotes by David Letterman
Mary Keitany from Kenya won the women's race at the New York City Marathon. You can tell she was fast because guys on the street didn't even have time to finish their catcalls.
David Letterman
In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal.
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Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.
David Letterman
Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.
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Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.
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Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
David Letterman
If I can be serious now, and I have the feeling I can.
David Letterman
As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.
David Letterman
Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.
David Letterman
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.
David Letterman
They're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.
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In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?
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Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of cabinet positions. And today he announced that he wants the surgeon general to be TV Dr. Sanjay Gupta. That was the kid on 'American Idol,' wasn't it?
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There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.
David Letterman
Weak coffee is the greatest sin against humanity.
David Letterman
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
David Letterman
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.
David Letterman
The world's oldest woman passed away at 116. They keep dying. I think that title may be cursed.
David Letterman
John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can't name the foreign leaders. That's all right, President Bush can't name them either.
David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
David Letterman
