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Life experience is the best teacher.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Teacher
Experience
Best
Life

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Don't use your bedroom for work, unless you're a prostitute.
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Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
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The Japanese Prime Minister has apologized for Japan's part in World War II. However, he still hasn't mentioned anything about karaoke.
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Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?
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Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?
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I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.
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There are so many flavors of Coke now - Coke with lemon, Coke with vanilla, Coke with lime, Cherry Coke, and they've just brought out another new flavor - Coke with Pepsi.
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President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'
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Bush explained his strategy for transfer of power. It's a two part plan. Part one: clean out his desk. Part two: rent a U-Haul.
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John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.
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Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.
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New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.
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New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
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Osama bin Laden... lived in one house for, like, six years with three wives. And earlier today, they ruled his death was a suicide.
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Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew is coming. You drink it, you get a combination of type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
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Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.
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According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime.
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President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
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You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.
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One of the remarkable things about being 19 is that you can break open a case of warm beer at midnight and still be wide-eyed and alert for your eight-a.m. class. And that gave me the false impression that my life would always be like that.
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