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Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
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Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
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Hookers
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Mitt
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More quotes by David Letterman
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Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.
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Here's why Sarah Palin says she won't be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that's true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected.
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I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
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This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.
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The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
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