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Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Doesn
Anything
Mean
Mind
Vote
Individual
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More quotes by David Letterman
Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.
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Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?
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A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
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Them bats is smart. They use radar!
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Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.
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Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
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At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
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Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are.
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New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
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The night before the Olympics opening ceremony, my son, who is eight years old, gets very excited and likes to put out a plate of cookies and some milk for Bob Costas.
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Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.
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The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?
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It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
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Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.
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Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'
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Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.
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