Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Presidency
Elected
Miss
Missing
Says
Trump
Universe
Pageant
Interfere
More quotes by David Letterman
Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
David Letterman
Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
David Letterman
Yesterday was not only daylight saving time, but also International Women's Day. What better way to address the issue of inequality for women than giving them a day that's missing an hour.
David Letterman
Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?
David Letterman
We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting to the root of his intense anger. And they say bin Laden never spends the night in the same place twice. No, wait a minute, that's Clinton.
David Letterman
Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.
David Letterman
John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can't name the foreign leaders. That's all right, President Bush can't name them either.
David Letterman
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is Hey taxi. Two is What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales? And three is Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.
David Letterman
The creepy stuff was that I have had sex with women who worked for me on this show. Now, my response to that is yes I have. I have had sex with women who worked on this show. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would, especially for the women.
David Letterman
A small handgun makes any TV remote control.
David Letterman
President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here.
David Letterman
Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.
David Letterman
Here in New York City you can now walk around smoking weed and all they will do if they see you is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game.
David Letterman
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David Letterman
President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.
David Letterman
I'd do a podcast about guys wearing shorts when it's too cold.
David Letterman
Pamela Anderson is a great dancer considering she can't see her feet.
David Letterman
President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.
David Letterman
Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'
David Letterman
They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.
David Letterman