Quote

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Preoccupied
Comedians
Comedian
Horrible
Thing
Life

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
CIA Director George Tenet has now testified before the 9/11 commission and he said we are still making the same dumb mistakes, like leaving memos on the President's desk.
David Letterman
Image
I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?
David Letterman
Image
Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, Pay? I was hitchhiking.
David Letterman
Image
The world's oldest woman passed away at 116. They keep dying. I think that title may be cursed.
David Letterman
Image
Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.
David Letterman
Image
Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?
David Letterman
Image
Good luck finding a place to park in New York City. And when you do, good luck figuring out the parking signs, restrictions, and prohibitions. It is so complicated. It has gotten so bad, I never park my car without a lawyer.
David Letterman
Image
Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
David Letterman
Image
You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.
David Letterman
Image
The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
David Letterman
Image
The morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, Soon you'll be able to have sex. I said, I've heard that for years.
David Letterman
Image
How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.
David Letterman
Image
Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
David Letterman
Image
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
David Letterman
Image
He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.
David Letterman
Image
It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.
David Letterman
Image
Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.
David Letterman
Image
Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.
David Letterman
Image
Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.
David Letterman
Image
Life experience is the best teacher.
David Letterman