Quote

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Moon
Wants
Launch
Space
Station
President
Mars
Means
Stations
Mean
Bush
People
Drinking
Build

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
David Letterman
Image
The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I call them, 50 shades of white.
David Letterman
Image
I haven't reached nirvana yet, but I've been to Detroit.
David Letterman
Image
Let's see what's going on over in Iraq. A Burger King has opened up and prostitutes are back on the street of Baghdad after 20 years. Fast food and hookers - they are truly living the American Dream.
David Letterman
Image
He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.
David Letterman
Image
Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'
David Letterman
Image
This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
David Letterman
Image
The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years.
David Letterman
Image
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.
David Letterman
Image
Jeb Bush has to distance himself from what they call the Bush brand. So he keeps saying, 'I am my own man.' But when Governor Chris Christie is out on the campaign trail, he's always saying, 'I'm my own man, plus another guy.'
David Letterman
Image
How about that oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico. And you know, the oil slick is going everywhere. So the next time somebody lands on the Hudson, it won't be that big a deal.
David Letterman
Image
And how about that Barack Obama? You know what they're saying? For the first time he's starting to slip in the polls. Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. Don't worry. He's got a plan. He's going to be to campaigning in Europe.
David Letterman
Image
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
David Letterman
Image
The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'
David Letterman
Image
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
David Letterman
Image
You know, we had the elections earlier in the week, and a dead woman, in Pennsylvania, somehow was on the ballot and she was elected to city council. A dead woman actually elected! And I'm thinking, well, I guess there is still hope for Al Gore.
David Letterman
Image
Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney has a fund-raiser. He's going to get in the ring and fight Evander Holyfield. This is the dumbest thing Republicans have done since they wrote that open letter to Iran.
David Letterman
Image
The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
David Letterman
Image
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
David Letterman