Quote

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
People
Drinking
Build
Moon
Wants
Launch
Space
Station
President
Mars
Means
Stations
Mean
Bush

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.
David Letterman
Image
Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
David Letterman
Image
They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
David Letterman
Image
Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
David Letterman
Image
President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.
David Letterman
Image
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
David Letterman
Image
There are so many flavors of Coke now - Coke with lemon, Coke with vanilla, Coke with lime, Cherry Coke, and they've just brought out another new flavor - Coke with Pepsi.
David Letterman
Image
Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.
David Letterman
Image
Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.
David Letterman
Image
There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
David Letterman
Image
Stocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines.
David Letterman
Image
My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
David Letterman
Image
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial.
David Letterman
Image
I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
David Letterman
Image
I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.
David Letterman
Image
John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.
David Letterman
Image
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
David Letterman
Image
Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
David Letterman
Image
Newt Gingrich is against same-sex marriage. Well, actually, he's against same-marriage sex.
David Letterman