Quote

The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Years
General
Taking
Steps
Means
Closer
Another
Election
Place
Iraq
Today
Guess
Mean
Step

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
David Letterman
Image
A small handgun makes any TV remote control.
David Letterman
Image
The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
David Letterman
Image
Yesterday was not only daylight saving time, but also International Women's Day. What better way to address the issue of inequality for women than giving them a day that's missing an hour.
David Letterman
Image
Now in Utah if you get the death sentence, they have the firing squad. In Russia, they call that early retirement.
David Letterman
Image
Obama said they've had some glitches with the Affordable Care website. I'll tell you something. If you order a pair of pants online and they send you the wrong color, that's a glitch. This is like a Carnival cruise, for God's sake!
David Letterman
Image
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
David Letterman
Image
There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.
David Letterman
Image
In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal.
David Letterman
Image
This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.
David Letterman
Image
Life experience is the best teacher.
David Letterman
Image
Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.
David Letterman
Image
My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
David Letterman
Image
It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.
David Letterman
Image
Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.
David Letterman
Image
Kim Jong Il made his staff call him “dear” and spent the day drinking cognac. It's like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.
David Letterman
Image
Chi-Os were ideal partners for all occasions. They were discrete, desirable, tactful, polite, and fun... Every mom dreamed of her son coming home with a Chi Omega, a woman's woman.
David Letterman
Image
Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.
David Letterman
Image
The 4th of July combines the two things Americans love most in one day: alcohol and explosives.
David Letterman