Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Kerry
Really
Kennedy
Wondering
Bloody
Mary
Endorsing
Endorsement
John
Endorsements
Wonder
Mustache
Guy
More quotes by David Letterman
Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
David Letterman
Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.
David Letterman
Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.
David Letterman
Weak coffee is the greatest sin against humanity.
David Letterman
The White House has now put together a website for kids. It's a website to teach kids how to manage a budget responsibly. The website is called ' Irony.gov. '
David Letterman
Stocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines.
David Letterman
You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
David Letterman
The morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, Soon you'll be able to have sex. I said, I've heard that for years.
David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
David Letterman
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.
David Letterman
The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
David Letterman
During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!
David Letterman
Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.
David Letterman
Pope Francis is going to go to Washington, D.C., to address Congress. He believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat.
David Letterman
But I was thinking about this, the Obamas want to adopt a stray dog from the pound. And I think that is admirable. I believe the last president to bring a stray dog into the White House got impeached.
David Letterman
Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.
David Letterman
Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'
David Letterman
It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
David Letterman
You're not really drinking coffee unless you drink it black, don't you think? Oh, no? You like to monkey with it?
David Letterman
People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.
David Letterman