Quote

I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Shows
Beer
Thought
Glad
Also
Couldn
Best
Fun
Woke
Enough
Knew
Consumed
Years
Possible
Hung
Show
Quit
Jobs
Quitting

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.
David Letterman
Image
I'm so excited for my son. On Christmas morning I want to see his face, to be there when he opens the gifts. I want the see what my assistants got him for Christmas.
David Letterman
Image
Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!
David Letterman
Image
Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.
David Letterman
Image
It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
David Letterman
Image
I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
David Letterman
Image
There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here.
David Letterman
Image
Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.
David Letterman
Image
Them bats is smart. They use radar!
David Letterman
Image
Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.
David Letterman
Image
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.
David Letterman
Image
Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.
David Letterman
Image
And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate the United States.
David Letterman
Image
You know who's upset now with ISIS? Al Qaeda. It's because ISIS is getting more attention than Al Qaeda. So now, Saturday night will be Ayman al-Zawahiri bobblehead night.
David Letterman
Image
Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.
David Letterman
Image
Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.
David Letterman
Image
Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!
David Letterman
Image
Yesterday was not only daylight saving time, but also International Women's Day. What better way to address the issue of inequality for women than giving them a day that's missing an hour.
David Letterman
Image
Did you get the new iPhone yet? The iPhone that I have is outdated. It has two pieces and a hand crank.
David Letterman