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It is cold down in Washington, DC. They had to use an ice scraper on John Boehner's face to get the tears off, it was so cold.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Face
Faces
Use
Ice
Washington
John
Tears
Cold
More quotes by David Letterman
Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
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They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.
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Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.
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Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?
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I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.
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John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.
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President Bush says he now wants to simplify the tax code. Only those in the blue states will pay.
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Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.
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I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
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Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.
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Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.
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How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.
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Some good news. Finally, President Bush is going to do something about global warming. He became alarmed when another chunk of ice fell off his mother.
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It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
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Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
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Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century.
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