Quote

It is cold down in Washington, DC. They had to use an ice scraper on John Boehner's face to get the tears off, it was so cold.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Tears
Cold
Face
Faces
Use
Ice
Washington
John

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping.
David Letterman
Image
Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.
David Letterman
Image
Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.
David Letterman
Image
Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.
David Letterman
Image
George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.
David Letterman
Image
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
David Letterman
Image
Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
David Letterman
Image
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David Letterman
Image
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime.
David Letterman
Image
Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'
David Letterman
Image
They're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.
David Letterman
Image
Jeb Bush has to distance himself from what they call the Bush brand. So he keeps saying, 'I am my own man.' But when Governor Chris Christie is out on the campaign trail, he's always saying, 'I'm my own man, plus another guy.'
David Letterman
Image
President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.
David Letterman
Image
Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew is coming. You drink it, you get a combination of type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
David Letterman
Image
Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.
David Letterman
Image
The morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, Soon you'll be able to have sex. I said, I've heard that for years.
David Letterman
Image
While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
David Letterman
Image
Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.
David Letterman
Image
How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.
David Letterman
Image
If Ricky Schroder and Gary Coleman had a fight on television with pool cues, who would win? 1) Ricky Schroder 2) Gary Coleman 3) The television viewing public
David Letterman