Quote

Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Mitt
Hiring
Romney
Accused
Aliens
Illegal
Hair
Perry
Work
Rick

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Chi-Os were ideal partners for all occasions. They were discrete, desirable, tactful, polite, and fun... Every mom dreamed of her son coming home with a Chi Omega, a woman's woman.
David Letterman
Image
There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.
David Letterman
Image
The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It's almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.
David Letterman
Image
Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.
David Letterman
Image
I worry about Rick Perry. One, he's too conservative, Two, his debating skills. And three ... Oh crap, what was three?
David Letterman
Image
When we started the show, there were mixed responses. Half of the people said, 'That show doesn't have a chance.' The other half said, 'That show doesn't have a prayer.'
David Letterman
Image
Them bats is smart. They use radar!
David Letterman
Image
And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate the United States.
David Letterman
Image
Mayor de Blasio has legalized ferrets. Now you can legally own ferrets in New York City. I want to tell you something. If I want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, I'll just keep riding the subway.
David Letterman
Image
President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.
David Letterman
Image
The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'
David Letterman
Image
It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.
David Letterman
Image
Valentine's Day money-saving tips: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. In place of bubble bath, use lavender-scented dish-washing liquid. Forget rose petals. Sprinkle the bed with sliced beets!
David Letterman
Image
Today was opening day for the new Congress in Washington. And Vice President Joe Biden swore in the new batch of White House fence jumpers.
David Letterman
Image
My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
David Letterman
Image
John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.
David Letterman
Image
Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.
David Letterman
Image
All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
David Letterman
Image
The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'
David Letterman
Image
Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.
David Letterman