Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Illegal
Hair
Perry
Work
Rick
Mitt
Hiring
Romney
Accused
Aliens
More quotes by David Letterman
He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie.
David Letterman
Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!
David Letterman
The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'
David Letterman
While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
David Letterman
This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.
David Letterman
Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!
David Letterman
Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
David Letterman
The Pope also said that while he's in town he would like to go see 'The Book of Mormon.'
David Letterman
Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.
David Letterman
Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
David Letterman
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
David Letterman
Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'
David Letterman
I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.
David Letterman
Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.
David Letterman
Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping.
David Letterman
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
David Letterman
According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, 'Mission Accomplished.'
David Letterman
Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.
David Letterman
Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.
David Letterman