Quote

Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Accused
Aliens
Illegal
Perry
Hair
Rick
Work
Mitt
Hiring
Romney

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
CIA Director George Tenet has now testified before the 9/11 commission and he said we are still making the same dumb mistakes, like leaving memos on the President's desk.
David Letterman
Image
Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large.
David Letterman
Image
The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?
David Letterman
Image
I hate decaffeinated coffee. It's useless brown water.
David Letterman
Image
I got my lips chewed off by a dingo!
David Letterman
Image
While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
David Letterman
Image
If Ricky Schroder and Gary Coleman had a fight on television with pool cues, who would win? 1) Ricky Schroder 2) Gary Coleman 3) The television viewing public
David Letterman
Image
There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.
David Letterman
Image
Weak coffee is the greatest sin against humanity.
David Letterman
Image
But down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, 'Mission accomplished!'
David Letterman
Image
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.
David Letterman
Image
Finally we got some good news about the economy. Barack Obama got $800 billion to rescue the economy. All I can say is, 'Thank you, Oprah.'
David Letterman
Image
I spend most of my free time under the house.
David Letterman
Image
Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.
David Letterman
Image
At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
David Letterman
Image
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is Hey taxi. Two is What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales? And three is Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.
David Letterman
Image
Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, Pay? I was hitchhiking.
David Letterman
Image
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.
David Letterman
Image
It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.
David Letterman
Image
I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.
David Letterman