Quote

Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Year
Mitt
Funny
Romney
Next
Olympics
Didn
Competing
Years
Dancing
Horse
Stars
Winning

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Yesterday was Election Day. If we have any Democrats in the audience, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give up your seats.
David Letterman
Image
The 4th of July combines the two things Americans love most in one day: alcohol and explosives.
David Letterman
Image
Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
David Letterman
Image
President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.
David Letterman
Image
John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.
David Letterman
Image
I don't like stand-up comedy that requires a lot of props. I really respect people who can walk out onstage alone and with no other tool but their own minds and can make you laugh and maybe even think a little.
David Letterman
Image
By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.
David Letterman
Image
The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
David Letterman
Image
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
David Letterman
Image
I want to tell you though, I'm having the absolute best birthday ever. Last night -- this was so sweet, it means a great deal to me -- the other cult members got together and they all took me out to see Star Wars.
David Letterman
Image
When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
David Letterman
Image
I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.
David Letterman
Image
Did you get the new iPhone yet? The iPhone that I have is outdated. It has two pieces and a hand crank.
David Letterman
Image
Newt Gingrich is against same-sex marriage. Well, actually, he's against same-marriage sex.
David Letterman
Image
Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.
David Letterman
Image
The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It's almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.
David Letterman
Image
He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.
David Letterman
Image
John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can't name the foreign leaders. That's all right, President Bush can't name them either.
David Letterman
Image
Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
David Letterman
Image
Kids in Washington every year have the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.
David Letterman