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Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Better
Gum
Children
Chewing
Censorship
Torture
China
Labor
Child
Problem

More quotes by David Letterman

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President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to fire the CEO's of BMW and Volkswagen.
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Mitt Romney and his family have a big two-day weekend plan. They're going to hike to the top of his money.
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Yesterday was Election Day. If we have any Democrats in the audience, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give up your seats.
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Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield's other ear.
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Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.
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It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.
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How about that oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico. And you know, the oil slick is going everywhere. So the next time somebody lands on the Hudson, it won't be that big a deal.
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Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.
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Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large.
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United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.
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John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.
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Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.
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One of the remarkable things about being 19 is that you can break open a case of warm beer at midnight and still be wide-eyed and alert for your eight-a.m. class. And that gave me the false impression that my life would always be like that.
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Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?
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Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping.
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A priest in New York City was arrested on gun possession. These days, you better be happy that the bulge in his pocket is a .38.
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Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.
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Honey, what happened to ladies first? Husband replies, That's the reason why the worlds a mess today, because a lady went first!
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The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
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Today Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.
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