Quote

Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Family
Korean
Together
Dictator
Birthday
North
Jong
Close
Executing
Friends
Kim
Happy
Celebrated
Evil
Gathered

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.
David Letterman
Image
It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
David Letterman
Image
They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.
David Letterman
Image
The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
David Letterman
Image
Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of that mission to Operation Forget About Whitewater.
David Letterman
Image
Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.
David Letterman
Image
Osama bin Laden... lived in one house for, like, six years with three wives. And earlier today, they ruled his death was a suicide.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.
David Letterman
Image
George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.
David Letterman
Image
I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
David Letterman
Image
Over the weekend, of course, down there in Washington, D.C., they had the big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do you know who was really funny? President Obama. So funny, in fact, he has already been promised 'The Tonight Show' in five years.
David Letterman
Image
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
David Letterman
Image
Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'
David Letterman
Image
Last month Mitt Romney raised $76 million. He found it in an old sport-coat pocket.
David Letterman
Image
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million.
David Letterman
Image
I want to tell you though, I'm having the absolute best birthday ever. Last night -- this was so sweet, it means a great deal to me -- the other cult members got together and they all took me out to see Star Wars.
David Letterman
Image
You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?
David Letterman
Image
Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew is coming. You drink it, you get a combination of type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here.
David Letterman