Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
North
Jong
Close
Executing
Friends
Kim
Happy
Celebrated
Evil
Gathered
Family
Korean
Together
Dictator
Birthday
More quotes by David Letterman
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
David Letterman
There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
David Letterman
The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
David Letterman
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
David Letterman
And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate the United States.
David Letterman
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
David Letterman
I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.
David Letterman
Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.
David Letterman
Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?
David Letterman
Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.
David Letterman
Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
David Letterman
Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able to do the show.
David Letterman
Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
David Letterman
The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
David Letterman
The ayatollah in Iran says he believes that he got the letter, but he thinks he accidentally threw it out with his Crate & Barrel catalog.
David Letterman
Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.
David Letterman
I got some good news earlier today before the show. Thanks to Alex Rodriguez, I am no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York City.
David Letterman
Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has released all of his emails. I'd like to release all of my emails. I've got nothing but emails about low-cost funerals and Viagra.
David Letterman
Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie.
David Letterman